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Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
I`m one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
If I were the guy who made the Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
Under no circumstances shall a call be made to another male after 2 a.m., unless its to get bailed out of jail.
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.