Daily Silly Status

Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.

You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.

All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.

I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.

So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.

Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.

Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.

What a snow day inside with the kids! My one son thought it would be a good idea to fill up the garage freezer with snow to save for later and my other son had an "accident" and peed all over the floor in the bathroom. Youd think they know better at 13 and 15 years old! I probably should stop letting them drink beer in the house.

Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.

Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.

My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.

Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.

I hope when I die Charlie Sheen`s life flashes before my eyes.

So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?

I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.