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Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
He won`t let me complain to the neighbors, so I renamed the WiFi to `SHUT YOUR DOG UP, D!CKS`
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.