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I wish I had a dollar for every time I didn`t have a dollar.
It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Looks like I won`t be updating my status today...
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
I hav 10 fingers bt i usd only.. the thumb to write this...!
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .