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Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
I did a half hour on the treadmill each day last week. This week, I`m up to 1 hour a day. I`m slowly building up to actually turning it on some time in the future.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.