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Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.