Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most problems can be solved with nudity
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
What I learned in college 1.Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
Helpful Tip: You can’t get in trouble for leaving work early if you disable the security cameras and crawl out the air-conditioning duct.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
I’m still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
Never compliment a lady on her mustache no matter how magnificent it is