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So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
I didn`t see anyone important today so I`m going to wear the same clothes tomorrow.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
My problem is that all food is comfort food
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.