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Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.