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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
word of the day: nincomtard
I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
Sometimes one middle finger isn`t enough to let someone know how you feel. That`s why we have two hands.
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
My penis was in the Guinness book of World Records. Then the librarian told me I had to take it out before she called security.
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...