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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
I`ll be there in a second I just gotta finish writing this letter of apology to a club owner for tearing up his dance floor last night..
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.