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Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called " fun size" should really re-evaluate their stanards of entertainment.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.