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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I’m forty. I have one.
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
I’m in no shape to exercise.
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
I try not to limit my madness to March.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"