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I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
I swear, its like EVERY payday I gotta spend money cause there`s a birthday party to go to, a wedding, a baby shower, a new video game, a new stripper, something. Always something...
*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy
Me: "Sorry I`m late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn`t go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."