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I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon"
It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.