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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Trying to remain humble but I’m the most famous person in my living room right now.