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"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
Awkward moment when you don’t know if you were offered gum out of generosity or if your breath stinks.
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that`s the last thing I need.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
Everyone, please... a moment of silence for all my married friends who have a shared Facebook account.
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.