Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
You know that chick who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"... Yeah, well I ate her.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
"You drive me to drink!!!" ~Me shouting to the taxi driver.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
I just want to be as thin as my patience.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.
scientific fact: never tell a woman she`s crazy unless you want to see crazy.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.