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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
Just once I`d like a doctor to tell me I`m not getting enough beer in my diet.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.