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It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
I`m not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."