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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
The general rule is that you shouldn`t ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?