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It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.