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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny and thin. It`s a public service really.
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.