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I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
Hey, car designers, you have kids, right? How is "limo window partition" between the front and back seat not an option yet?