Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.