Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
I`m like a kid in a candy store. I can`t afford anything.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
Life is like toilet paper....either you`re on a roll....or you`re taking sh*t from some asshole
"That wasn`t chicken in the Chow Mein" I`d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
Just once I`d like a doctor to tell me I`m not getting enough beer in my diet.
I`ve stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.