Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m going to start wearing a whistle around my neck, so I can call penalties on people who piss me off.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son`s love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.