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It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.
I just need someone to feed me and tell me Iām pretty.