Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My mother always told me to never quit something I`m good at. So here is to her for making me realize that i`m good at being drunk!
That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
I would like to say to all my 500+ facebook friends, that i love each and every one of you..except you number 371..your a real a@@hole!!
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
I always keep a spare pair of shoes at work that I change into so people don`t know it`s me when I`m taking a dump.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.