Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn`t have said.
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
My favorite thing about marriage is sharing a house with the person most likely to murder me.
My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
I want one of those jobs where people ask, “Do you actually get paid for doing this?”
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.