Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point when she turned around and found out I was walking her home.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...