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I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it`s always perfume.
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
Whenever somebody is murdered, the 1st person the police investigae is the spouse. That should tell you all you need to know about marriage.
My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?