Daily Silly Status

You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.

To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.

I’m the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I’m asleep.

What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.

I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...

Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"

I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone

Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.

Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.

I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here

The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.

Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.

You know what I like about people? Their dogs.

have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?

if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.