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This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.