Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Me:"I had a dream about you." Girlfriend:"Awwwwww." Me:"Yeah, you died."
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
This day needs more yesterday.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
The only people without problems are in the cemetery.