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Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
What I learned in college 1.Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-a$$".
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.