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Who needs dance lessons when you`ve got alcohol?!
Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
Being in the doghouse isn`t so bad if there`s enough beer in the bowl.
Judging by the way some women wear makeup it`s rather obvious they didn`t excel at coloring as a kid ...
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."