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No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
If I don`t clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
Thursday doesn`t even count as a day, it`s just the thing that`s blocking friday.
If Wendy`s think their square burgers are so awesome, why don`t they use square buns?
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.