Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn`t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
Iām not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Hello is this HP? Iād like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.