Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
I find it ironic that it takes 12 steps to get a beer out of my fridge.
Just printed out 50 copies of today’s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I’m just not in the mood for small talk.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
This patience thing takes forever.
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me.
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
I remembered my wedding anniversary today. It was last week.