Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria’s Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free.
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.