Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
I hate when its dark and my brain is like “Hey you know what we haven’t thought of in a while?” Monsters.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problems. 99% demons.
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing?" I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I text a lot.
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not sure what it means
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?