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I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up...
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
I just want to be rich enough to tell my boss, "you`re not the boss of me"!