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Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
The worst form of Alzheimer’s is when you walk out of the kitchen and forget to grab a beer.
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.