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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
I purchased my own Taser off the internet the other day. In a totally unconnected incident, I´ve got to buy a cat to replace the neighbors one this afternoon.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"…
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
If there`s no god then how do you explain yoga pants?
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem