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Stretch marks? You mean sick a$$ lightning tattoos.
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
? Taken ? Single ? So sexy that they’re all scared to go out with me.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I have a black belt in leather
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?