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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning.
"He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I`d totally hit that."
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.