Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
When a woman says, "I`m NOT crazy" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That`s universal for, "You`re going to die."
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
Sometimes I get up really early, drink some coffee and read some awesome motivational quotes. Then I go back to bed.
I followed my heart...now I`m at the liqour store
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
I`m never free but I`m available.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."