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Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
I am actually impressed by what Lance Armstrong has done. When I was on drugs, I couldn`t even find my bike!
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
There`s this cool trick I do where I post whatever the f*ck I want becasue this is my account, not yours.
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do