Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
Dear person reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
Just burned 2000 calories. That`s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets