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You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
As I get older my tastes are changing, for instance I used to not like brussels sprouts but now I don`t like people.
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
Sex ed class should be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.