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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Wine: How classy people get trashed.
Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
In a parallel alternate universe, my cat and my dog have jobs and I chill at home.
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.