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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
I would watch tennis more often if they replaced the ball boys with untrained golden retrievers.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I`m scared that it`s closed.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.