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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Turtles do nothing and are slow as hell, yet they live for like 200 years. I`ll probably live forever.
I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Sometimes I feel happy, but then the Oreos run out.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"
All I need right now is a hug ... And five hundred thousand dollars in cash.